“Are you sure you want to buy this,” I asked you incredulously.
“Yes,” you insist. “I’ve got really good health insurance – and it includes dental.”
“But wait,” I retort. “You’ll look really silly.”
“I don’t mind,” you said. “I’m completely bereft of self-awareness. I could streak through the streets wearing nothing but a latex horse mask, and I wouldn’t even blush. And anyway — being a dickhead’s cool.”
“You know you can rent these, right,” I said. “Lime, Bird, there are loads of companies that have dumped electric scooters on the streets of your city. A ride is something like three dollars. You really don’t need to spend nearly $400 on this Xiaomi Mi electric scooter.”
“But I want to,” you replied. “I’m tired of giving money to the venture capital industrial complex. And anyway, I don’t want other people’s germs.”
“Fine,” I relent. “I suppose it is a good deal. This has a list price of $535, so you’re getting a decent chunk of cash off. According to CamelCamelCamel, it’s at its lowest price yet. And it’s got a range of 18.6 miles, so it’ll easily ferry you between work and your apartment. And when you get embarrassed of driving around on a kid’s toy, you can easily fold it up and hide it in your office, or something.”
“Good point,” you said. “So, where can I get this fabulous deal?”
“Amazon,” I replied. “Where else?”
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Published July 28, 2019 — 12:29 UTC
Price $ 399 ProductMi Electric Scooter by Xiaomi